What Bruno Should (And Shouldn’t) Do At The Halftime Show

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Here’s the thing, playing the Superbowl Halftime Show is one of the biggest honors an artist can receive.

 Think about it.

It only happens once a year and lately only one artist has headlined the show. If they’re nice, the artist will ask others to join, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that they are headlining.

Last year Beyonce had 100 million viewers for her show. It was the top moment of her career.

Bruno is being given an unbelievable opportunity tonight young into his career.

I’m still a little shocked he was picked (more on that when I review the show tomorrow), so it’s essential that he doesn’t mess this up.

Here’s how he can avoid that:

DO: Open With ‘Treasure’

This would be the perfect opening song. It’s upbeat, and a complete smash.

*Perfect time to plug my Jargon page if you haven’t visited*

‘Treasure’ is one of his strongest showings thus far. Plus, the show can’t start on a slow note. He’d be able to show off a few of his dance moves with his band, and bring a little funk to New Jersey.

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DO NOT: Sing ‘The Lazy Song’

Please, for the love of everything good in this world, cut this out.

I honestly can’t think of a more basic song released in recent memory. Everything about it is horrible.

The video with the dancing gorillas was the only thing enjoyable about the song, and even that was a crooked smirk worthy moment. Not a full smile, something like this:

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Since it was one of his bigger songs I’m sure we will have to sit through it and it will be one of the cheesiest more boring moments in Superbowl history.

SOMEONE PLEASE STOP HIM

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DO: Collaborate with the Red Hot Chili Peppers on ‘Runaway Baby’

I’ll be honest, I don’t want to hear Bruno sing a Red Hot Chili Peppers song.

No one can touch Anthony Kiedis.

I was beyond exited to hear that Bruno asked them to join him on stage. This was followed by a series of anxious thoughts, mainly concerning the type of collaboration they would do.

After long meditation I decided that ‘Runaway Baby’ would be the best song for them to duet on, and I think Kiedis would nail the vocals too.

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DO NOT:  Duet on ‘Dani California’

My fear is a collaboration on this song because it’s still ‘current’ enough for Bruno fans.

Imagine Bruno dropping to his knees and sliding across the stage.

I’m starting to get anxious again.

I will have faith in the fact that both Anthony and Bruno are good performers and no better than to embarrass themselves in front of millions of people.

DO NOT: Sing ‘Gorilla’

The FCC will be all over this.

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DO: A Stripped Down Version of ‘If I Was Your Man’

I’m still standing by my ground that he should’ve won the Grammy for this vocal performance.

Bruno already has a huge name for himself, so he doesn’t need to prove anything.

But he should take this time to blow all the skeptics away.

This was the song that made me really appreciate his voice, and hearing him sing it live solidified my opinion.

Seize the moment, Bruno.

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Do: End With ‘Locked Out of Heaven’

The last two years ended on softer notes.

Madonna ended her show with ‘Like a Prayer’ and Beyonce ended with ‘Halo’.

I’m hoping that Bruno switches that up and ends with the best Police impression recorded.

This is Bruno’s best song and would be a perfect way to end the show on a high note.

*Ah, yeah, yeah*

^I’ve been singing that all day^

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Overall I think Bruno has a uphill battle ahead as far as ratings are concerned, so I’m anxious to see what he has in store.

And please, one last time,

NO LAZY SONG.

 

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